


Sober

by zededteeay



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with no happy ending, F/M, Failed Marriage, Failed Relationship, Mentions of Alcohol Usage, i am sorry about this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:20:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24078133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zededteeay/pseuds/zededteeay
Summary: you don’t know how to love me when you’re sober.
Relationships: Bang Chan/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Sober

2:17am

why isn’t he home yet?

thoughts filled her head, worries and questions twisted around her brain; squeezing them to tightly she wanted to puke from the pain. her palms sweaty as she waited on worn down couch from years of beating, legs shaking a little as she continued to look at the digital clock in front of her. the red numbers seem to be taunting her by somehow going faster, trying to tell her to forget him. 

but i don’t want too

maybe she should but she couldn’t, for she was still in love with him even if he doesn’t show love back. the thought that maybe they could fix things kept her going, kept her continuing this one sided love. even if it did hurt her knowing he was not hers emotionally anymore, she continued trying. it weakened her body and heart but she couldn’t stop, knowing she needed at least one more bit of affection before he disappears forever.

the sound of the door open had her head spinning around so quickly that the world spun around her, standing up to shuffle to the door. a breath was released she didn’t know she was holding, seeing him standing in front of her. his cheeks and ears flushed pink, his curly locks messy and fluffy, his eyed dilated wider than usual. 

“chan..” 

she hesitated to reach out to him with her hands, to make sure he was okay and real. to make sure he wasn’t hurt anyway but instead she let out a little squeak as he gently grabbed her hand, pulling her into a bear hug. 

it’s been so long

it would be lies if she said that she didn’t miss his hugs, his touch and love. the affection that they had in the beginning of their relationship. the affection she craved every day. 

his hands rested on her waist as he nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck, mumbling something that couldn’t be made out but she nodded nevertheless. 

“are you okay?..”

her voice was so quiet and timid she could barely hear herself speak, scared that this was just a dream and she didn’t want it to end. instead of answering he just nodded and lifted his head to look at her, his stance was a bit unbalanced but he tried his hardest.

“just hung out with some friends.. drank a bit..” 

she only hummed a quiet yes and guided him over to the bedroom they barely shared anymore, laying him down on the bed and pulled the blanket over him.

“go to sleep okay? it’s late and you’re going to have a massive headache if you don’t..”

her voice trailed off as she let a small appear on her lips, standing up straight to walk out of the room when she was stopped. fingers wrapped around her wrist which made her eyes widen, the quiet voice of chan spoke out,

“stay with me...please..”

breath hitched in her voice as she looked at him with amused eyes, a ting of hope sparkled through her when he said those words causing her to immediately nod and move to lay down next to him. this is what she wanted, one more affectionate night before she needed to leave. it’s toxic, the both of them created a love so unrequited and it wasn’t doing any good for any of them. 

chan was already fast asleep when she settled in, his arms wrapped around her waist as his chest rose and fell slowly. tears formed in her eyes as she knew this is the end, fingers moving up to trace over his lips and smiles a little,

“you don’t know how to love me when you’re sober and for that i have to leave.” 

she whispered so softly that she could barely hear herself, slowly and carefully getting out of his grasp before her feet felt the cold wooden floor. she quickly and quietly packed her things, knowing chan was a very heavy sleeper. moving quietly to the door, she stopped for a moment and turned back around to grab a piece of paper along with a pen.

“dear chan,

hello my love, i hope when you wake up that you’re feeling better and don’t have a headache. i wanted to write this for a while but i never had the courage too. i love you and i always will, maybe that’s my downfall. this unrequited love was suffocating and i need a breather. please don’t ever think it’s your fault, it’s not. you can’t control how you feel about someone and people fall out of love but i do wish that you told me when you started to slip out of my fingers so this wasn’t dragged out. when you remember the relationship we had, please only remember the good okay? it pains me to see you in unhappy. but i do want you to remember that in the future, please know how to love someone when you’re sober. please don’t rely on alcohol for a numbing drug. you were doing enough but just not enough. i love you chan, thank you for loving me in a way i never knew you could anymore when you aren’t sober.

yours truly,  
your old sunshine.” 

—

chan woke up the next morning to a cold and empty bed, groaning as the morning sun burned his eyes and immediately calls out her name. his brows furrowed in confusion when he didn’t hear a response, getting up and looks around before widening his eyes.

her belongings were gone, all of it.

he sprung up from the bed and called out more, ignoring the headache he had and walked out to see that it was true. a tug on his heart made him whimper, moving back to the room to see a piece of paper with his name on it. written in the handwriting he always adored and grabs it, reading everything over and over before dropping it to the floor. his eyes caught something shining in the corner of his vision on his desk. he turned to look at it and lets out a sob, knowing it was truly over.

her wedding ring.

**Author's Note:**

> i am apologize for this angst. i remember writing this at like 4am and was like “ANGST CHAN FIC RN”.


End file.
